Scarletts Letters
by deephaze
Summary: So this story is all mine and it all belongs to me. So I'm begging you don't take it. Also I didn't know how to not choose a category for when its my story and not like something else so I put it down as Shadowhunters. The story is a "Hero's Journey" and rated T for dark themes. Please make sure to review!
1. Chapter 1

"Deep inside, where nothing's fine. I've lost my mind." I have never felt okay since that day, I haven't felt normal. Then again how could I after you died? And I'm the cause of it. Or at least that's what I'm told, Every. Single. Day.

I was almost 8 when it happened. I still can remember it so vividly I can almost relive it over and over again. It was sunny that day, the blue robins were singing a song in the trees. The breeze was dancing a dance so delicately brilliant you could dance with it. I had been at a playdate and got mad at my friend, a stupid pity kid fight that would make my emotions now laugh. You, who cared too much about me, had come to get me an hour and 12 minutes early to be exact. You had pulled onto the water deprived concrete driveway, glistening in the hot summer sun. The car had just been cleaned, with water droplets on the windshield sizzling every second from the heat. You had talked to my friends mom as I sat patiently in the car playing with my blonde barbie that had a blue streak in her hair from when I was painting 2 months ago. Finally you had got in the car after 3 minutes with a smile that shined almost as bright as the sun with one single sweat droplet coming from your hair. As we pulled onto the main street, I had begged to play on your phone to see if my fairy egg had hatched so with me crying in the back you reached down to get the phone that had fallen through the cracks of the white stained leather seats.

_**HEYY so thats my story all rights belong to me its my personal story with my own **_**_characters._**


	2. Chapter 2

Its funny that one little child demand could cause a lifetime of suffering. Crash. Dark. Pain. Loud. I opened my eyes to you laying there with your arm holding me back in my seat and I saw you. I saw you let your last breath go away. I saw you let your last pulse you had in your arm let me go. And I saw you smile, on a smile so scared and loving at me only for it to fade. I heard a scream and it was so loud I thought it would shatter more glass. As the tears left my eyes and trickled down my cheeks I had realized it was me. I was the one screaming and it was then I felt something change, something that made me feel as though Zeus himself shot a bolt of lighting through my brain re-arranging every lobe and vein in me. And then darkness. I couldn't open my eyes but I had heard the weeps, I heard the pain, I heard the screams of the dead yelling for help. I heard it all. I just didn't hear me.

Throughout the years I had lost more than just you, after the crash dad had started drinking. Without the comfort of you he had lost a grip on reality and he could only feel you with him when he drank and as the years started slipping away he did too. We lost our house, I lost my friends, the rest of the family had even lost touch with us because dad had blamed everyone. But mostly me. For being so stupid and childish as to have you pick me up from a playdate because of an argument. Especially one over a 3rd grade boy. I started to believe it was my fault. Wouldn't you? Now all the pain brings me here, almost 10 years later of grief, and the never ending torture and suffering because of something I caused.


	3. Chapter 3

I've always known I've been different from the day the 4 wheel cadillac painted gray hit us. Hit me. Hit you. But when the empty beer bottle stained brown with a smiley face wrapper labeled IPA was hurled at me for the sixth time that day something clicked, and I felt as though I was more livid then livid could be. Everything I had ever felt in those last 9 and a half years just burst threw me and I screamed on the inside where my soul was trapped. Hungry for the taste of happiness. For the taste of freedom. And it was then I heard it. It had sounded like the scream from the car accident and with every tear that had dropped it had grew louder, stronger, and everything had gone into slow motion and a crash that sounded like 87 glass bottles shattering at once happened. But it wasn't by me, the sound had came over by the side of the room dad was on. And even though I didn't fully realize what had happened I just knew that somehow with the pain and torment of my mind and emotions, I had slammed the bottle 10 times the speed at which it was thrown towards the table where his ashtray lay along with the rest of the bottles he chugged clean.  
When he realized what I had done he shouted, he was so drunk he wouldn't remember it by the time he woke up and for the first time in a long time I was jealous that he could forget and I couldn't. And all I could do was run so I ran, and ran, and ran, until I felt like the air was vacuuming me, sucking out every breath I took in until I couldn't breathe anymore. I waited till Mid night which was when he usually crashed while watching his stupid garage war shows to go home or at least to what I was told to call home. I packed up a couple pair of shirts 2 pairs of shoes and 3 pairs of my jeans that were tight at my calfs. And the only photo left of you in the house and with that I left. I had gone to the top floor of the apartment complex I had been forced into. It was there I found Violet Vector, her daughter Vanessa, and my favorite running partner, Bella, her 6 year old boxer. Then it was dark.

When Violet opened the door I just crumpled, I felt like hot dirt that hadn't gotten any rain in the last 4 million years, I felt dry, I felt defeated... Violet had always treated me like her other daughter, since the day I moved into the complex, and had to ask for batteries. She would always tell me that the first time her hand brushed against mine she had this overwhelming connection that made her feel as though she had to protect me, like a momma bird protecting her young, and somehow she knew, she knew the pain, she knew the trauma, she just didn't know the story, and somehow in some universe it made me special.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning I remember Violet had said she was going to show me how to control my powers… and at the time I was confused about how she knew when I didn't, but all things come into clarity soon enough. Like when water that has split on ink drys enough to where its smudged ever so slightly, but still noticeable of what it once was. We started later that morning… by the end of what she liked to call training, I had found out three things that day. One she could feel the emotions and know the stories of the ones she touched, although she could only FEEL my story not know it, which made me feel sorry for her, having to feel my pain and suffer with me is a fate worse than death. Two, I somehow developed telekinesis from the night of the accident, and when I screamed I finally set it free and like a bird it just soared getting louder with every flap of the wings. And finally three, I had one more power, the ability to take away the feelings and memories of the damaged, I felt like I had a balloon for a head, and it was going to pop into a trillion pieces, and my mind would be so scattered that I would never be able to think again. Violet said I had to find a way to stop the darkness from consuming me, and I had to find the light again, but how can you find the light when you're so far into darkness you can't even see what's in front of you anymore?

I had got another surprise two days later, Violet had bought a house and asked me to help, when I arrived she had me unpack the box labeled "Photos." I remember when you used to make me smile for every first day of school photo even when I didn't want to. You used to say, "Taking an image, freezing a moment, reveals how rich reality truly is." I never believed you, and I guess I was right to.


	5. Chapter 5

When I came out of my thought induced trance, I realized Violet had been calling my name, so I went to the sound like a moth going to the bright light of a lamp in the nighttime. It was there I found her in a room painted space gray, with a white oak bed frame, and black wood table. I asked what I was looking at and she said it was mine, and for the first time in awhile I felt happy, I wouldn't have to get up early to avoid his wrath, I wouldn't have to spray enough perfume to cancel out the odor of his cigarettes, and I wouldn't have to stay out till 12 at night to avoid getting hit. I could just be happy, and it was then I felt myself drawing closer to the light, I had finally found a glimpse of hope, a glimpse of happiness since you died, since the woman I was told to call mother died.

For the past 3 weeks and 4 days I have been trying to figure out how Im supposed to help, and I got a call. The man I used to call father had almost drank himself to death, and I was told his liver was failing and he had only a couple hours left. I had decided a long time ago I wouldn't abandon him the same way he abandoned me. So I knew that even though he made me believe I was worthless, for 9 years of my life, and even though he put me through suffering and pain. I couldn't let him feel this way while he was about to die, I wasn't like him and I never will be. So on his deathbed I released him, I released him of his wrong doings, I released him of his pain, his suffering, and I made him forget the bad times and remember the good. I made him remember who he was before his light was taken from him, and in a way taking all of his things away made me see you, I saw you hug me, I saw you laugh with me, I saw you hug us both so tight we felt like an angel from above was keeping us safe, and in a way you were keeping us safe, protecting us from what we might become. And he smiled. I saw him take his last breath, let go of his last thought, and look more peaceful than he ever has since the day our lives were flipped and turned inside out. And then it was quiet.


	6. Chapter 6

After that life went about as normal as it could have, I mean everyone treats you like you're some big walking curse. I've never been one to like school. Everyday it's the same old routine, get to school, take test, try to smile through the tears, turn in homework, deal with idiots, go to a non optional therapy for kids who have gone through trauma, lunch, take notes, study hour, go home, rinse and repeat. Although one day it was different, a guy smiled at me. The same guy I had a fight with my friend about, the same guy I had you pick me up over, the same guy only older. And even though its not his fault I felt as though I might puke when I saw he smiled. And in that moment I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to run, and run and run like the day I did when I found out what I was capable of, except this time it wouldn't give me clarity. It would just give me a silence which was so ill feeling silent it would make the deepest part of the universe, where there was no world sound as if it were a club where you couldn't even hear the barely legal man hit on the girl who had used a fake ID to get in. I just wanted to scream so I hiked, and ran, and ran, and hiked, until I was so far up the mountain Kong himself would struggle to get up. And I just screamed, I screamed, and screamed, and screamed till I could only make a squeak left.

"Sometimes the scariest things come from your brain." I always used to think that was so stupid, if its your brain why not turn it off? But to be honest you can't turn it off. It's like a parasite that just keeps draining you until your dry of everything. Ringing had awoken me from my coma like state, I remember I had looked down to see if it was my phone. But it wasn't, and I didn't realize at the time but it was my head, it was a voice, your voice. And somehow I could sense your smile, but it wasn't the last smile of yours. This smile sounded happy, carefree, and even more loving than the last one of yours I saw. And I knew it was going to be okay, so I left all my problems and worries on the mountain, and went to my new family, my loving family that would always stick by me… Still I wish you were here, I miss you, and I know somehow, someway you'll see this, and you'll smile for the last time at me.

I love you always and forever,

Scarlett your daughter.


End file.
